Death by... Oh I Don't Even Believe in Karma.

credit: somewhere on tumblr... er...

I just wanted to present you with a lovely little relevant gif, just in case I don't make it home alive from Pittsburgh.

True to form, I've barely even begun packing. I don't know whether or not I need to bring a blankie or extra bags for Colby to put his things... Ah well. Hopefully Lauren will be feeling well enough to go. She stayed home today thanks to nausea and a fever which prompted several oracle-like dreams. I need her support on this treacherous journey.

I love you. Probably,
Andrea! <3

As Post-Musical Depression Sets In...

Over the last week, so many soul-searching conversations have been had, frappes have been bought, cars have been yelled at (as Todd and I racked our brains for more creative profanity), and maybe a bro code or two was spectacularly broken.

As mentioned in the last post, Todd drove me about half of the way home over the last week. He's quite a snoop, but I'm fond of him and don't have too many secrets, anyway. Colby and Lauren are currently on my case for not asking him a lot of questions regarding his relationship life (I think we're like a little shipper-circle. We ship all our classmates; however, we would make horrible wingmen. Or Lauren and I would, anyway). Oh well. He seems to know most of the little there is to know about mine, though. He's supportive. Kinda. I also discovered that he can't wait to be a daddy. I think that's adorable, because I can see him getting along really well with children. He says he can see me with one daughter. Apparently I can't have a son because Todd doesn't trust me to dress up little boys. Oh well. We also had several  relationship-centric conversations that don't bear blogging about because weeeeeeeeell I'm paranoid and some things, the world is just not ready for.

I promise you that no making out or any other behavior of an intimate nature was done in Todd's car, even if I, along with several others, was wondering just what it would take to explode Simon's "oh shit Andrea is interacting with other things with PENISES angstangstrageangst" meter. Nobody has been murdered yet, so I assume it is still fully functioning.

I was also involved in my most teary circle-up yet Saturday, as we have five seniors and an exchange student graduating. This is my last production with all of them, but I will probably be working with four of them in May or so, for the Musical Theatre Ensemble showcase night, West of Broadway. It seemed that everybody was crying by the end of circle-up. Everybody. I looked across the circle to Colby and Fox and Colby was unashamedly tearing up, while Fox was aaaaaaaalmost there. I just stared, astounded at Fox's capacity for emotion. Also was amazed when he and Lauren started hugging each other. Usually they're too busy antagonizing each other to be nice.

The plays ran smoothly, nobody's dead (yet), and I also got to play some wonderfully inappropriate charades-from-the-catwalk with Colby and Lauren. Also engaged in potentially reckless behavior (however, considering the parties involved, simply knowing them is reckless).

I HAVE NO REGRETS,
Andrea! <3

Excerpts of Semi-Significant Conversations From the Last Two Days.

*Monday, during lunch, in the theatre stairwell.

Simon: *walks in, looks to the left to see a little Andrea who has been creeper-staring at him from behind the window in the door for the last several minutes, then proceeds to sit down next to the trash can.*
Lauren: "Oh, Andrea, tell Simon the good news!"
Andrea: *is standing facing Lauren, turns to her right to Simon.* "I'm pregnant."
Simon: *look of kind-of-okay-ness*
Lauren: "Whatnddfgkg the OTHER good news."
Andrea: "It's not yours."
Simon: *same reaction, nod.*
Lauren: "The BETTER news."
Andrea: "It's Fox's."
Lauren: "... Y'know, I don't even know if GSA is above or below that... Ummm..."
Andrea: "Oh by the way I got into GSA."

An Amusingly Appropriate Link

I had a conversation with Todd, a very theatrically-talented and cute but that's irrelevant junior who will be driving me part of the of the way home from school for the next couple of days, about my indecision regarding my life goals. Then I get on tumblr about a half an hour later, and guess what I find!?

http://wtfshouldidowithmylife.com

Why not?
Andrea! <3

Impatience.

The GSA acceptance and rejection letters were mailed out yesterday, and most of my friends who applied have received theirs back already. So far I know of two acceptances and two rejections. If the trend in which we only have two attendees go from this county continues, I'm already fucked, but of course, living in the far reaches of the county, I don't get to know for sure until Monday.

Lauren, who decided that it is a very very bad idea to argue with the interviewer after receiving her rejection letter (although she says she doesn't care too much since she has other options. Seeing as Lauren does evvvvvverything, I don't doubt it), keeps telling me that she's sure that I made it in. BUT I DON'T KNOOOOOW.
My dad is trying to be helpful, whereas my mother... Well, um, she's not Oprah for a reason. I flipped out at her when she started talking about Colby vs Tasha (the latter made it in, whereas the former did not. I'm quite proud of Tasha, but I'm still a little sad about Colby). My mom and I both have yet to learn the general rule of "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all." It wasn't even that bad, really, I just... I dunno. Get fiercely protective sometimes.

I AM GOING TO GO CRAZY WAITING FOR THAT LETTEEEEEER.

In other news: I had yet another weird dream last night. This one didn't involve any of the usual factors to frustrate me, but the scenes within it were all so strangely disjointed that I don't know what to think. Butbutbut STEAMPUNK THEATRE KIDS so everything is better. I also realized, thanks to Tika posting a little status about how she danced in somebody's arms last night in her dreams, that my head may be telling me that romance takes a backseat to surrealism and nudity (bolded for truth/emphasis).

OH, and somebody had a dream about ME within the past couple of weeks! However, it is not within my jurisdiction to indulge you with details. I had to do a fair amount of demanding to receive the story myself, 'cause... 'Cause...

I don't have a vague, yet plausible excuse,
Andrea! <3

Out There, Someone's Gonna Love Ya

Nevermind. Simon and I are apparently not on good terms. I don't know what I did this time to provoke him to block me, but part of me can't help but speculate that he could be the manipulative asshole that several people have tried to tell me that he is over the last ohh... year or so.

In other news, I stayed after school for my first rehearsal of Honk! this evening. It's quite the cute musical; this song has stuck with me all evening. It's just ridiculously cute, and Damian sings it. His distinct southern accent always makes me giggle. I've known him for 2+ years now, and I still can't get over it!

Then I become sad and lonely because of my nonexistent relationship life... Okay not that depressed. I don't really even care that much right now. I seem to become more apathetic by the day.

I just watched rehearsal today. Sometime this week I should actually start managing. This cast is probably about half the size of our last show's, Miss Nelson is Missing/Miss Nelson has a Field Day, and there are far fewer scene changes, so it'll be a bit of a breather. Lauren and I are nonetheless scheduling in our emotional breakdowns. Lauren has regional Social Studies Fair one afternoon before the first performance, and PTA meetings on the last night, so those nights are hers. I have the second night simply because I always seem to be unstable and depressed on those nights. Oh well. I survive. I think it'll be fun, though!

Andrea! <3

P.S. -- I saw a freshieman boy I talk to occasionally with a "BRONY" shirt today. I nearly squealed. I, however, restrained myself, seeing as it was eight in the morning. We just exchanged smiles and went our ways. I think I may beat him up and run away with his shirt the next time he wears it, though.

Best Day Ever.

I acquired around 2 hours of sleep after writing this morning's post... I have since ran around the high school in Morgantown like an idiot all day, sans the hour or so I spent being interviewed/writing. I have no regrets. However, it is now a ground rule of Lauren's car that Colby and I not be allowed to sit together, because we will eventually form ourselves into a complicated tangle of limbs in order to bewilder the people in the car next to us.

The four of us, all being undignified theatre kids, decided in that the 2+ hours we each spent unoccupied, we sang and danced to songs from The Lion King, Honk! (which we are currently in production of, and therefore the other three know all the songs, whereas I, the stage manager who begins attending rehearsal tomorrow, do not. I was such an outcast), and Avenue Q. Several parents were staring at us disapprovingly. We, as usual, couldn't really be arsed to care. I was surprised that many of the applicants we saw were so reserved. I expect people within the arts to be more outgoing nowadays, especially within the performing arts.

One girl, though, came up and introduced herself to Colby, Lauren, and I while Tasha was in auditioning. I like to think I know a wonderful initial conversation-starter when I see one (e.g., Simon: "Those look like dominatrix gloves. If I give you $5, will you bend me over, pull out your whip, spank me and call me a big boy?" ), and being told that I will be beaten up and have my Unico (she recognizes Unicooooooo *hyperventilates*) shirt stolen, resulting in a little tussle, is one of them. The girl, whose name turned out to be Molly, and I had a small fandom gang up on Lauren (our Homestuck/video gaming vs. Lauren's Doctor Who/Sherlock). We also got engaged, invaded the personal space of everybody in the immediate area, and crack!ships were brought up. Ohhhh the joys of shipping.

When she left, Lauren, Colby, and Tasha, who had returned several minutes beforehand, all had somewhat terrified looks that I didn't understand.

They say they can only deal with one Andrea in their lives.

Then Lauren decided it would be an great idea to, while talking to the girls waiting for their interviews, to talk about the instrumental music auditions and suggest that I should have a comprehensive knowledge of the instruments Jacob is proficient in because I have "had my tongue down his throat." Speaking of him, he and Nick, aka the god of everything BECAUSE HE IS SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING AND I CAN'T BE NEXT TO HIM BECAUSE HE IS BETTER THAN ME. AND IT GIVES ME A COOOOOMPLEX, were just about to leave the school as our group of four arrived. I spoke a little with Jacob, and he said he thought he did well in the auditions, which I'm happy for. I told him that he better have made it in, because my money was on him. He was particularly smiley, which is always reassuring.

As for my own interview and exercise, I actually did pretty well, or so I thought. I discussed a little LotR with the interviewer, a rather attractive middle-aged man who will also be teaching the Creative Writing program at GSA. Lauren, within the fifteen minutes of her interview, managed to get into an argument with him about adjectives. Fifteen minutes, man.

Ughhhh I am so tired. I do not want this daylight savings time.. Not in the least.
I WANT SLEEEEEEEEEEP JHDJHFDGJH ARGH.

Andrea! <3

I have been awake for the past 23 hours.

I'm still deciding whether or not I have regrets.

One of my requirements for myself is that I cannot finish a project until <3(less than three, guys. Not a heart) hours before it is absolutely due. I'm sure Lauren wishes to kill me right now, and Simon would, too, were this like last year's Social Studies far, which I totally badassed. Either that or everybody else just failed. Massively. Either/or.

ANYWAY. I'm going to have to go into hibernation after this is over, 'cause I have done a ridiculous amount of freaking out/crying/angsting this week (Simon: "Everything makes you want to cry." ), thanks to GSA auditions. Today's the day, guys. I'll be riding in with Lauren, Tasha, and Colby, and since Tasha's auditions are 2-3 hours before all the rest of ours', I have a good amount of time to freak out and browse the competition and realize how much I suck after we arrive. This is not necessarily a good thing.

I honestly have no idea how things are going to go right now. I fear that my failure at the concepts of meter and rhythm (I hate that word. I never spell it right. Ever.) are going to totally screw me over... I need to learn; I just... Haven't. I do adjectives. There we go. That's what I could contribute to this program!

I also watched Toy Story 3 for the first time ever a couple of hours ago while I was shirking my responsibilities. I wanted to bawl throughout nearly the entire second half of the movie. BIG BABYYYY OH MY GOODNESS ALL MY TEARS GO OUT TO THAT POOR BABY. And the furnace scene... Oh my God, no. Just no. My mom kept looking over at me and trying to remind me that it's just a cartoon. That doesn't help things. At all. It's such a gloomy movie in places... I was genuinely creeped out/depressed by a good many things within it. Especially Lotso's backstory. I found it rather heartbreaking. It doesn't make it any better that he's a total yandere, just... uwaaa. Everything.

That movie would prevent me from sleeping even if I wasn't a procrastinating mofo,
Andrea! <3

P.S.-- I would say that I'm never going to do this again, but honestly, I think I'll have to in a couple weeks.

P.P.S.-- Simon and I are now on speaking terms again. Pretty friendly speaking terms. Everybody is terrified, myself included.

No, Subconscious. Do not Want.

Twice this week, I have had dreams where I had to cope with not being a virgin anymore (dream-wise. I am very much still a virgin in reality.). It's starting to confuse me.

The first time, I just had to explain my newfound state of ... I dunno, corruption, to my father; I don't remember how it went. I don't want to.

The second time, last night, I lost it to an upperclassmen of mine who plays trombone, has impeccable grammar, used to have a beard, and is semi-obsessed with Communism and zombies. I didn't witness the actual event, thankfully, but the dread that I could potentially be preggoes lasted throughout the entire dream and more than made up for the awkwardness lost in not witnessing the loss of my subconscious virginity. The thing I remember most clearly was texting the guy about Ghostbusters bracelets, so I don't even know.

I'm not one of those people who can differentiate between a dream and reality while in the midst of a dream, so I woke up this morning feeling very "OH THANK GOD MY VIRGINITY IS STILL INTACT." And ever since, I've just wanted to know whyyyyy.

Could be case of this:

hehehehehe nooooo screw you tumblr the picture DISAPPEARED. D:


And/or I just have odd, sexually charged dreams for no reason.
Andrea! <3